


It's always you

by sunflowerbebe



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Dialogue Heavy, Fluff, Getting Together, Happy Ending, I tried to be serious but oh well, Inspired by Music, Light Angst, M/M, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Swear Words, brian sings about dowoon and its really cute, changes of perspective, i dont feel like editing this anymore so here we go, i have no concept of sentence variety im sorry, i love dowoon, jae is such a great friend, kind of crack, thats my excuse if its bad lol, wonpil and sungjin are there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2020-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:39:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23138590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunflowerbebe/pseuds/sunflowerbebe
Summary: Jae convinces Younghyun to confess to Dowoon.
Relationships: Kang Younghyun | Young K/Yoon Dowoon
Comments: 5
Kudos: 99





	It's always you

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my second fic here.  
> I started writing this in early January when things were a little quieter, and have been writing/editing it since. I hope that reading and writing can help us to maintain a sense of normalcy in these unusual times, and most of all I hope we don't have to abandon the little things that make us happy. Take care of your health and let's all be careful.  
> P.S. I use italicizing to show inner thoughts or sometimes emphasize words, and the song Younghyun keeps singing is "It's Always You" by Chet Baker. I hope this will help get your mind off of the stress even if just for a few minutes!

It was a cold winter night in earlier December. Jae and Younghyun were on the dorm’s rooftop after the others had gone to bed following a late rehearsal. They had spent many a night on that rooftop accompanied by one or both of their guitars, passing the time singing, chatting, and having deep talks. There were already a few old blankets abandoned by whichever member(s) had been there prior laid out where the outside wall of the stairwell met the floor of the roof, providing the perfect space for anyone to get comfortable enough for sleep. The railings along the edges of the otherwise bare roof were low enough to not obstruct the view, so sitting and/or laying up there gave a wide panorama of the night sky. Jae and Younghyun had been settled in that space for a while now, moonlight just bright enough for visibility. Younghyun was softly strumming chords on Jae's guitar and singing, slipping between different melodies before finally settling into a tune. Jae recognized it. 

_Whenever its early twilight_

_I watch ‘til a star breaks through_

_Funny, it's not a star I see_

_It's always you_

The younger hummed along to the chords for a while longer, sometimes singing the lyrics, freely drifting through the piece until slipped into his thoughts, fingers now barely strumming the strings. Jae’s voice broke the almost-silence.

“That’s a great song.”

Younghyun smiled. “I know right. Sometimes I wish I wrote it."

Jae smiled back. “You're singing like you did, man. That's some deep shit.”

They laughed softly. The silence following was comfortable, as things always were between the two. Jae breathed in the cold winter air, reveling in the peace of the night.

“Hyung, have you ever been in love?”

He raised an eyebrow at the sudden question and pursed his lips, thinking.

“Hmm. Don't know if you could call it love.” He thought for a second. “There's someone out there for me, I just haven't met them yet. When I meet them I'll know. If it's love I'll know. At least I think so.”

Younghyun made a noise of affirmation. Jae lifted his gaze to the sky and returned the question,

“What about you? Ever felt it?” He waited, noticing from his periphery how Younghyun looked up too and let out a heavy sigh.

“Yea.”

The older's eyes widened slightly.

“No way.”

“Yes way.” Younghyun chuckled. He was still smiling, but it had changed. Jae couldn't put his finger on how.

“Didn't work out?"

Younghyun shook his head. “Nah, it’s not like that. We've never even gone out. It’s just that it'll never happen." He paused. "Doesn't mean I'm not in love though.”

Jae noticed the use of present tense.

“How do you know it's love?”

Younghyun closed his eyes. “Because I've waited for it to pass for years but it never does and deep down I know it never will. I've written thousands of songs about him, tried to distract myself with flings, but it's always there. He’s always there.” He laughed lightly. “Like an itch.”

Jae scoffed, “You're weird.”

Brian stuck his tongue out. “We been knew.”

Jae laughed at that, taking the humor as an indication that he could continue with the subject.

“Why'd you say it'll never happen? Don’t tell me we’re talking an idol situation, because, sorry to break it to you, but that's not love, ok, that's just being a die-hard stan and listen I know it feels like love but you don't even kn-“

“Oh my god, Jae, I'm not in love with a stranger, who do you think I am. We're close and stuff. It’s just that he's straight.”

“Ahh. I see.”

There was a slightly uncomfortable silence, something not typical for the two. Jae broke it.

“You sure?”

“I mean, yea, pretty much.”

“Pretty much?”

“Well he's never said anything about it.“

“So you're not sure.”

“No, I am sure, you're twisting my words.”

“I'm not twisting shit”

“You're twisting it.”

Jae rolled his eyes but was obviously curious as to who this mysterious love interest was and how he'd never noticed the weight on the younger’s shoulders before. Now it was painfully obvious. All the songs, all the late-night talks about moving on, about love. _God I'm so dense_ Jae thought, self-reflecting for a moment.

“I could find out for you.”

Brian rolled his eyes "You mean find out if he’s gay? For that to happen, as enticing as it is, I’d have to tell you who I'm talking about, and you can't keep a secret so you'd end up telling him either on accident or not and then I’d be screwed because not only is the possibility of him liking dudes very low, he'll reject me anyways, so I'd end up throwing off our whole dynamic and that's the last thing I want to do because he's quite possibly my favorite human no offense and I would die withou-“

“So I know him?”

Brian sputtered. “What no I didn't say that.”

“You said I'll tell him, so I obviously know him.”

Younghyun was at a loss. Jae waggled an eyebrow. “I’m surprised you kept this from me for so long. You're not so great at keeping secrets yourself.”

“Hyung, please. If he finds out, my life is over”

“You’re such a drama queen, everything’s gonna be fine because I’m gonna get you two together.” Younghyun blushed at the thought. “I won't tell anyone, chill.”

Younghyun closed his eyes. When he opened them, he sighed and moved to set the guitar down, scooching closer to Jae, who squealed in anticipation.

“That was way too easy! You're so cute, it's like you were just waiting for me to ask!”

Younghyun squeezed his temples. “Oh my god shut up, do you want to know or not?”

Jae made a gesture of zipping his lips and swallowing the keys. Brian rolled his eyes, then breathed in and out, preparing himself for imminent disaster.

“It's Dowoon.”

Jae’s eyes bugged out of his head and his jaw dropped. It was a hilarious expression, and Brian would have laughed in any other situation but he was too busy regretting his entire life’s choices because _oh god Jae thinks I’m weird and now he’s gonna hate me and I’m gonna lose my bestfrie-_

“Oh my god!!!!!! Dowoon?! As in Yoon Dowoon?! You’ve been pining for years you said?? Shit it was right under my nose this whole time!! What the fuck you should have told me sooner!!”

“What? Sooner?”

Jae’s eyes widened even more and his eyes shifted around. “I mean what no- uh- I'm just happy you told me! That's all. I mean you guys would make a really cute couple.”

Brian was distracted by the image and blushed hard. Jae noticed.

“Look at you blushing!!!! What the fuck you're like a schoolgirl!!!” Jae cooed while pinching the younger’s cheeks, who quickly shoved him off, trying to hide his smile at Jae’s reaction. _He doesn't think I'm weird! He thinks it's cute!_

“Stop it hyung I'm serious." He tried to keep a straight face but was laughing, so Jae laughed too, then smirked.

“He's bi you know.”

Now Brian's jaw dropped. Jae laughed even harder.

“I bet you're just saying that to make me feel better.”

“No! I'm serious.” Jae waved one hand in self-defense and clutched the other to his stomach, trying to catch his breath and stifle the bubbling laughter. When he finally calmed down, he wiggled his eyebrows. “You're not the only one who comes to me for deep late-night talks.”

Brian stared at the older. This conversation had taken an amazingly terrifying, terrifyingly amazing turn.

“No way.”

“Yes way.”

Younghyun shook his head to clear his thoughts. _Don't get your hopes up. Don't fall deeper._

“Whatever. As great as that news is, just because he likes dudes doesn't mean he likes _this_ particular dude.” He shoved a thumb towards himself.

“wHatEver" Jae mocked, continuing before the other could defend himself. "50/50 isn't even the worst odds. Plus, don't you think he might have a soft spot for you too?”

Brian blinked.

“What does that mean.”

“I'm just saying that it might not be such a bad idea to confess.” Brian started to complain but Jae waved him off. “Just think about it, ok? At this rate, you're gonna break your own heart before you even give him a chance. You want this weight off your shoulders, even if it's scary. Trust me. And maybe you'll even stop writing depressing shit, yea?”

Brian snorted “Yea. Maybe.”

“So what do you say?”

Brian paused for a few seconds and ran a hand across his face. “He's gonna reject me anyway.."

Jae shoved his shoulder. "Come on man."

"When he does you had better help me change my name and flee the country."

"Oh? Did you just say 'when'? Implying that you will tell him in the near future?"

"Oh my god shut up hyung, look, I'll tell him, ok? I'll tell him. Even if it kills me." He rubbed his eyes. "It's gonna hurt though. I love him. A lot.”

Jae stuck out his bottom lip. He was morbidly impressed at the power the maknae held over his best friend without even trying and moved an arm across Brian's shoulder.

“I'm proud of you, Bri.”

Brian smiled, “Thanks, hyung. And you're right, I'm not sure how much more I could endure." He rubbed his eyes again. "You know that game where you shove sticks into a balloon until it pops? Yea, it's like that, except the balloon is my fucking heart, and every time he smiles at someone else it's a stick, every time he gives a compliment to someone, every time he tells everybody but me some stupid story, it’s another stick. It's dumb shit like that that's gonna make it pop. All the little things. I gotta get it out of my system, you know? Just get it over with, haha.” He looked like he was about to cry.

“It's ok, it's ok. Don't cry.” Jae squeezed his shoulder.

“I'm such a pussy. I should just do it now before I chicken out. You think he's up?"

Jae laughed lightly at Younghyun's impulsive nature. “Uhhm, no. He's asleep. But don't you think you should wait for a special moment anyways? Like, maybe not out of the blue?” He snapped his fingers. “Why don't you invite him up here tomorrow night? Say you don't want to come here alone or some shit.”

Younghyun thought about it. He looked up at the sky, waiting for his eyes to adjust to the dark, watching the stars break through before finally whispering, “Alright. Tomorrow night. The way you said.”

Jae high fived him. “Good. Now let's go to sleep, I'm fucking freezing”

Younghyun laughed.

"Me too." 

Sneaking back into their room, which was otherwise a practiced action, was interrupted by Jae punching Brian's shoulder and giggling under his breath. It just so happened that they shared a room with a certain someone, who was fast asleep on the top bunk. Younghyun tried to shush Jae but ended up stifling a laugh too. He was already glad he told Jae. A stick in the balloon had been removed, just like that. He knew nothing would come of the confession, so the bit of relief in and of itself was most of the motivation to confest. It was selfish but true. Careful not to make the bed squeak, he climbed into his bottom bunk and winced when despite his efforts the wood complained, thanking god that Dowoon was an incredibly deep sleeper. He whispered goodnight to Jae who shot him a thumbs up. Younghyun rolled his eyes.

Younghyun woke up the next morning feeling surprisingly well-rested and, were those _butterflies_ in his stomach? He put a hand to where he felt them and laughed quietly in disbelief. _Haven’t had those since high school._ Being the first one up he took his time getting ready, reveling in the peace of the morning stillness before practically skipping to the kitchen to make himself breakfast. Food was the one thing that rivaled Dowoon’s spot in his heart as number 1, so he took his time cooking up five eggs for all the members. As he cracked the first egg, he calculated the amount of time he had before facing Dowoon. He’d have to keep a poker face to do this properly; if Dowoon was suspicious he might not agree to come up to the rooftop together. Usually, Sungjin woke up around the same time as himself, followed by Wonpil, Dowoon, then Jae. That gave him 15 minutes, maybe 20 if Dowoon hit snooze. _I can do it. I'm cool. Cool as a cucumber. Nothing can stop me. I'm invinci-_

“Hey Younghyun.”

He looked up, startled out of his thoughts, then smiled. “Good morning Sungjin hyung.” Everything was going according to plan.

“Eggs?” he gestured towards the pan. Sungjin grumbled a response, clearly not a morning person. Luckily Younghyun was fluent in Sungjinese, so he understood the grumble to be a "yes please" and slid an egg onto toast, passing the plate to his half-asleep hyung who made another noise, translating to “thank you.” Next came Wonpil, following his prediction to the millisecond and giving him about 2 minutes left until Dowoon came to eat.

The three sat down to eat, and Younghyun was so distracted by his food he almost didn't notice Dowoon slip into his chair next to Wonpil, yawning into his hand before picking up his toast. Wonpil cooed at him and pinched his cheeks. Dowoon was too sleepy to fight back, so he just kept munching on the bread, perfectly content to have his face battered. Jae had just sat down and started a separate conversation with Sungjin, so Brian took the chance to continue pretending to be enraptured by his eggs while peeking up at Dowoon across the table. He watched Wonpil ask the maknae if he slept well, laughing and calling him cute when he just nodded and took another bite. Dowoon still wasn't pushing him off, and although Brian knew it was just because he wasn't fully awake yet, he felt a stick poking its way further into his balloon and quickly looked down, busying himself with stuffing as much food as he could into his mouth. _I'm gonna fucking kill Wonpil_. He chewed hard, trying to understand that visceral reaction to a pretty typical scene. _Am I jealous? What the fuck Younghyun. What the fuck._

“I’m gonna head to the studio early if that’s cool with you guys.”

Wonpil looked away from Dowoon to cheerily respond “Ok Younghyun hyung, see you soon” and shoot him a thumbs up.

Brian plastered a smile on and got up to grab his bag. He fished around for his car keys at the doorway before noticing someone behind him. Jae.

“Can I come with?” The older asked.

Brian let his face relax a little. “Yes please.”

The whole car ride to the studio, Younghyun blasted music, but not before thanking Jae for being so perceptive.

“Do you think anyone else noticed?"

“Nah, I only did because I know now, so it’s easy for me to tell when you’re _jea-lou-sss_.” Jae drew the word out, making Younghyun groan.

“What a relief.” He responded, voice dripping with sarcasm.

Jae laughed. “It’s not gonna matter after tonight anyways. You know, since you’ll be boyfriends.”

“Oh my god shut up.” He smacked Jae’s face away from his where the older was making kissy faces.

“Don’t get my hopes up, hyung.”

Jae stopped, then sighed and slumped back into his seat. _Should I just tell him? He’s beating himself up so much. No, Dowoon would kill me. Patience, Jae. Patience_. He looked to the side at Younghyun, who was excessively focused on parking in the studio’s empty lot (it was barely 7 am), then smiled to himself. He couldn’t wait for tonight.

“Stop making that stupid face.”

Jae made a stupider face. “Fuck off”

Brian snorted, then scratched the back of his neck and turned to face Jae.

“Everything’s gonna be fine, right?"

“Right.” They fist-bumped.

It was nearing 7:15. Younghyun and Jae had just finished unpacking and were tuning up when they heard the door creak.

“Hey hyungs, mind if I warm up here?” The two looked up to the figure in the door.

Of _course_ it had to be Dowoon, always showing up when Younghyun least expected, giving no time to prepare his heart. Jae turned to the bassist, eyebrows raised into oblivion with a shit-eating grin on his face, leaving him to respond.

“Uhhhhh sure? I mean, yes! Of course. It’s our room after all, haha.” He turned his reddening face away quickly, busying himself with the bass. Jae looked back at Dowoon, who frowned. Jae shrugged and made a face mocking Younghyun, pulling a little smile out of Dowoon who moved to toss his bag behind the drum set. Younghyun not so inconspicuously let out the breath he'd been holding and waited until after hearing Dowoon sit down to glance up. The drummer was just setting his iPad on the music stand in front of him. Younghyun watched him pull a pair of sticks from his bag, placing them on the snare before rubbing his hands together, clenching and flexing them a few times. He kept watching as Dowoon picked up the sticks and started testing out the day’s feel. The older hadn’t had a chance to fully look at him this morning (he was way too busy "eating"), but now he noticed the curly black hair, still wet from showering (he smiled thinking about how Dowoon was too lazy to dry his hair but too hardworking to know when to take a break), the unzipped jacket thrown haphazardly over a muscle tee, grey sweatpants that he was pretty sure didn’t belong to Dowoon, and beat up sandals that definitely did belong to Dowoon bouncing to beat the hi-hat and kick. He let his eyes drift to Dowoon’s hands, watching in awe as they seemingly lazily played over the drums, making it look so easy, then up to his face, relaxed and still a little sleepy, which was honestly cute as fuck. He kept staring at the monotone expression, finding it extremely endearing.

“Is there something on my face, hyung?” _Shit._

“Uhhhh yea? I mean, no, what? I don’t know” He looked away before he could meet Dowoon’s eyes, messing around on the bass and fiddling with the amp, not catching Dowoon look over at Jae, who lifted his phone and shook it. Dowoon opened the chat conversation.

7:21am From: pororo

-he was staring at you~~~~~ 

i knowww hyunggg. am i that ugly??-

-…. youre so stupid 

i know 😢-

-no what the fuck i meant i think hes staring at you for another reason

🥺–

-just chillax. thank me later

Dowoon looked up, staring at Jae until the older noticed and winked, mouthing _“trust me.”_ The drummer furrowed his eyebrows in confusion and set his phone down on the snare, trying to refocus on warming up.

Wonpil and Sungjin came in after a few minutes of the three tinkering around on the instruments.

“Let’s get it boys.”

The rehearsal went well. They got through their whole set and even had time left over to work on new music they were preparing. Brian tried not to stare at Dowoon again, he really did, but whether out of weakness or sheer habit he found himself glancing over every few minutes. When Dowoon was playing the drums it was safer to stare; he was less likely to notice. _God, I’m such a creep,_ he thought. _Get it together._

It was Sunday, so they only had a morning rehearsal and got off at 11. The band went out for lunch then split up to spend their free day however they wanted. Wonpil had gone to a friend's recital, Sungjin to a movie, Jae to hang out with the foreign squad, and Dowoon to the practice rooms, leaving Younghyun alone to lounge around the dorm. Which was, admittedly, one of his favorite things, right behind food and Dowoon. He took a nap after lunch, not bothering setting an alarm, and ended up sleeping until 3. He yawned, heart skipping when he saw the sun a little lower and therefore the night a little closer, and pulled out his guitar. The next few hours were spent playing for a minute then scribbling down the chords he liked then playing another minute and so on. Lyrics also came to his mind but he decided not to write those down. If he was going to confess tonight, he didn’t need his depressing-ass thoughts written down, staring back at him, mocking him. He was shifting between writing his own stuff and singing his favorite songs, and was still singing when he heard the main door keypad beep. Naturally he didn't think much of it, guessing one of the members was back, and carried on.

Dowoon’s hand froze over the handle. He had gotten back to the dorm 10 minutes ago and had just poured boiling water into a cup ramen to offer to Younghyun, who he had heard playing when he entered. The cup was starting to burn his hand but he was stopped outside of the closed door to his room, listening intently to the lyrics coming from within.

_Whenever I roam through roses_

_And lately I often do_

_Funny, it's not a rose I touch_

_It's always you_

A crack shot up through his heart. He quickly pulled his hand away from the door to quietly run back to the kitchen. The painful sting of the hot water through the cup finally reached his brain and he hissed, setting it down on the counter. He pushed his face into his still hot hands, pressing the heels of them into his eyes like he did whenever he felt the threat of tears coming. He turned to slip his shoes on, not grabbing his car keys or wallet or phone, desperate to get out as quickly as he could. Desperate to get away from where he could still hear Younghyun singing. Singing about someone else.

Younghyun jumped when he heard the main door slam shut. You needed a lot of force to slam that door since it was one of those keypad ones that kind of shut on its own. He cracked open his door and peeked out. All he saw was an opened ramen in the kitchen. _Huh_.

Dowoon walked through the nearby park for hours. He usually loved it, loved walking, but today couldn't stand it. He _hated_ it and didn't know why, until he felt a hand reaching up to pinch his nose. Roses. There were too many fucking roses. The fragance he usually loved stung down to his lungs. It was a stench. He felt like he was going to throw up so he jogged forward until he reached the edge of the park and crossed to sit down outside of a convenience store. He was still terrified of being left alone to listen to Younghyun, so he got up after a minute of catching his breath to walk around the block for a few more hours until he was sure Wonpil, Jae, and Sungjin had returned to the dorm. On the walk back to the dorm he felt like he was drunk, and considered calling a taxi before he remembered he didn't have his wallet. It took him close to another hour, but he eventually made it back, pressing in the keycode, feet aching. When he finally stepped inside, relief washed over him as he heard the others chatting over the sound of Super smash.

“Dowoon-ah! Please join my team, Jae is so bad at this,” he heard Wonpil call out, yelling back a quick “coming!” even though he just wanted to sleep. He kicked off his shoes and splashed tap water on his face in a half-hearted attempt to cool down before joining the others in front of the TV. Sungjin and Younghyun yelled in celebration as he walked in, apparently having just won the game, so he sat next to a dejected Jae at the base of the couch, watching Snake and Daisy pose in celebration on the screen.

As everyone was yawning more and more, the members started to retire to bed. Jae had been the first to go, but not before pulling Younghyun to the kitchen and making him promise to confess. Younghyun nodded, determined to get this right, feeling the adrenaline in his chest. Jae slapped him like a wrestler and ran off before the other could chase him. Younghyun heard Jae yell back, “You promised!” to which he responded “Yes sir!" just as loud since nobody else knew what they were talking about anyways. As fate would have it, when Sungjin left and Younghyun suggested the remaining maknae-line go up to the rooftop, Wonpil refused, saying he was not going to catch a cold now that they were recording soon, that he’d rather eat a frog or some shit, so Younghyun shrugged and coolly gestured Dowoon to follow him up. _Damn I’m smooth_ he praised himself, grabbing a blanket and his guitar before leading the way up to the stairwell, Dowoon in tow.

At the top of the stairs, Brian threw the blanket back at Dowoon, who made a noise in surprise, muffled by the fabric. When Dowoon managed to escape the blanket, he wrapped it around himself and mumbled, "thanks." He shuffled past Younghyun who was holding the door, mumbling "thanks" again (so cute) and plopped down in that comfortable space against the outside wall of the stairwell. Brian opted to sit right next to Dowoon, figuring he had higher chances of being snuggled there. They had often come up here, just the two of them, but this time felt different for Younghyun (obviously Dowoon was as oblivious as ever, bless his heart). He didn’t trust himself to not say something stupid, so he started strumming. He heard Dowoon sigh and scooch closer, to which he internally squealed before telling himself it was just because Dowoon was cold, and to not get his hopes up now at this crucial moment. He continued playing, letting Dowoon lean into him, before starting to sing.

 _Whenever its early twilight_ , Dowoon's breath hitched as he recognized the melody

_I watch ‘til a star breaks through_

_Funny, it's not a star I see_

_It's always you_

_Whenever I roam through roses_

_And lately I often do_

_Funny, it's not a rose I touch_

_It's always you_

_If a breeze caresses me_

_It's really you strolling by_

_If I hear a melody_

_It's merely the way you sigh_

_Wherever you are, you're near me_

_You dare me to be untrue_

_Funny, each time I fall in love_

_It's always you_

Younghyun improvised over the chords a little longer, humming wherever lyrics didn’t fit, until he was satisfied and let the last notes dissipate into the night, totally wrapped up in the moment. Just him singing a love song to his crush who was snuggled against him. _Ahh, this is the life_.

“I like that song,” Dowoon murmured.

“Me too.” Younghyun winked.

Dowoon laughed softly. A minute passed before he spoke again.

"I'm so tired."

Younghyun blinked. "Should we go down?"

"No, no I-" He let out a shaky breath. "It's not that. It's... um.. nevermind. I don't know. I don't know what's up with me, lately I'm just..." He chewed his lip. "Nevermind. Sorry."

Younghyun set the guitar down and took Dowoon's hand, more than a little heartbroken when the younger quickly pulled away. "No, not nevermind. I know it's hard but if you need to talk, please.." He paused, choosing his words carefully. "I'm here for you, ok? No matter what."

Dowoon shook his head. "It's nothing." He let his body slump against the wall. 

Younghyun tried his best to keep his voice steady even though there was worry bubbling in his chest. "Dowoon?"

The younger groaned. "I'm just.. Can I ask you something?"

"Mhm."

“Are you in love with someone?"

Younghyun widened his eyes at Dowoon, who was looking down.

“What?”

“Are you in love with someone?”

“No I heard you, I just… ” He trailed off. His eyes drifted down to Dowoon’s fingers playing with the frayed ends of the blanket, and he just couldn’t help himself.

“Yea. Yea, I am” Watching Dowoon, he felt the butterflies beating their wings fast.

“When you sing, do you think about them?”

Younghyun sighed and looked up to see the stars breaking through. _He has no idea_.

“Yes. Always.”

There was a pause.

“Do they love you too?” Brian looked back at Dowoon, trying to read the blank expression.

He lowered his voice and whispered, “I sure hope so,” keeping his eyes trained on Dowoon, waiting for a reaction. Anything.

Dowoon bit his lip. “What are they like?” Younghyun thought he sounded so small in that moment, so vulnerable. He ignored the itch in his hand to reach for him again.

“Well, he’s smart. And cute. And handsome. And strong. He’s got great abs but I'd never tell him that. His hair is soft. He’s talented, dedicated, hard-working. Did I already say cute? Anyways he’s funny and shy. Perfect, really. My mom likes him too. She’s always telling me she wants me to marry him.” He smiled, thinking of how his mom loved bugging him to confess. “He’s kind. A ray of sunshine. He puts on a mask but he's sensitive. A real tsundere.” He sighed. “God he's fine. He's gifted but not arrogant. An easygoing dude. All kill.” Younghyun was about to continue when Dowoon finally spoke up, voice flat.

“I hope he’s worth it.” He was pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes, but when he lowered them Younghyun could see his emotion. His hurt. Now Dowoon was standing up

“He’s a lucky guy, hyung. I hope he takes care of you.”

“Wait what? Where are you going?” Younghyun couldn't stop himself and reached out to catch Dowoon’s wrist. “Are you ok?”

“Yea I’m fine.” Dowoon was good at keeping his mask on, but his eyes betrayed him.

“Come on, you know you can’t lie to me. Come here.” Younghyun patted the space where Dowoon had been sitting with his other hand.

“I can't hyung, I'm sorry.” His voice cracked, further alarming Younghyun.

“Dowoon what's wrong? What happened? Is it too cold? Are you hurt somewhere?” Dowoon jerked his hand out of Brian's grasp. Hard.

"Don't touch me." Dowoon tried to sound angry but he'd never really been good at that so it came out sounding more like a strangled plea.

Younghyun was shocked. He'd always considered himself pretty close to Dowoon, but even he had never seen Dowoon get too upset or cry. He was frozen, paralyzed, watching Dowoon stand there with his fists shaking. He couldn't even move his hand from where Dowoon had broken away, arm still slightly raised, and now he saw the glint of a trail of tears down Dowoon's cheek, illuminated by the moonlight, the only sign of crying on an otherwise stark face. Dowoon was breathing hard and moved his hands to press his eyes again. Younghyun heard him curse under his breath.

“Tell me,” Dowoon started after a minute of silence. “Who is it?”

Younghyun felt his muscles tighten. Dowoon lowered his hands, locking eyes with Younghyun, who shook his head. “Wait a second, calm down first. What's wrong?"

"No, I-" Dowoon ran a hand down his face, smearing the tears. "Please tell me."

Younghyun squeezed his eyes shut. He didn’t want to confess when Dowoon was upset. It would just make everything worse.

"I shouldn't. Not now." He chewed the inside of his cheek, nervous. Dowoon pressed his eyes again, trying to hide his hurt, but Younghyun saw him biting his quivering lip and heard a whimper escape.

Younghyun's heart almost stopped at the sound and he leapt up. Dowoon, who never cried, was cracking right in front of him. And he had no idea why. He moved to hold Dowoon.

"What's going on?"

Dowoon shoved him away, nearly knocking him down. He swiped a thumb under his eye, cursing when he saw the wetness. Younghyun heard him mutter a quick "sorry hyung" before he was moving to the door, and everything was moving in slow motion because Dowoon's hand was inches from the door handle and Younghyun knew he had half a second to act. His body was moving before his brain. He didn't care if Dowoon pushed him again, hell, Dowoon could beat him up for all he cared, as long as he stayed. Just for another minute.

Younghyun twisted Dowoon around and pushed so that Dowoon's back was flush with the outside of the door. They were facing each other now, so close, and Younghyun could see the tear streaked cheeks and wide eyes staring back at him up close, could practically feel Dowoon breathing too quickly, and maybe his heart broke again. Dowoon was biting his lip, but Younghyun was holding his arms so he couldn’t cover his eyes anymore, and the tears just kept flowing.

Dowoon barely got the words out. “Just fucking tell me. Who is it? The person you love." 

_Here goes nothing._

“You.”

Dowoon let out an exasperated sigh and sniffled, trying hard to keep his voice flat. “Don't fuck with me hyung."

“I said it’s you. I’m in love with you.”

Now he sucked in a shaky breath, eyes starting to shift. “W- What are you talking about?” His voice was a little frantic and shaky, and his fists were trembling were Younghyun was still holding them.

Younghyun smiled, but it wasn’t happy. “I know you don’t feel the same. It’s fine. It was actually pretty funny how you were asking me all those questions and didn’t realize that the whole time I was talking about you.” Younghyun saw Dowoon start to speak and shook his head. “It’s fine. You don’t have to say anything. Actually, you can just forget this even happened. I’m ok with it, I swear. I've tried for years but I just can't stop loving you, so, uhm, this is the next best thing, yea? I can love you from afar, you don’t have to do anything differently, just... I hope this isn’t weird. Sorry, I shouldn’t have said all that stuff earlier about how my mom wants us to get married, I just got too into it because you look so pretty and it fel-“

“You love me?” Dowoon whispered.

“Yea. I love you. I'm sorry"

Dowoon shook his head, almost imperceptibly. “Why, wha- then what the fuck was that singing all about? What the fuck was all that about your mom?”

Brian laughed dryly. "I just couldn't help myself.. I guess I thought you might like me too, somewhere deep down, even though I've been telling myself not to get my hopes up for years.“

“No I mean, what the fuck.”

“Sorry, just forget about it.”

Dowoon shook his head again. "You’re not joking right?” Brian felt the knot tighten in his throat.

"Do I look like I’m fucking joking? Look I said I'm sorry, I don't know what you want from me." He let out a pained laugh. "Now can you please tell me what the fuck is going on?"

Before he even finished saying 'on,' he felt a pair of lips on his own, light as a feather, and then they were gone just as fast, and he was watching Dowoon pull back with flaming ears, and his mind was racing because _wait what the fuck did Yoon Dowoon just kiss me? Holy shit what_ and now his face was getting really hot. His ears were ringing a little so he almost didn't hear it when Dowoon whispered,

“That’s what the fuck is going on.”

But he did hear it. And now he wanted to make sure he wasn’t dreaming, so he put a hand behind Dowoon’s neck and pulled him in close. The younger was obviously flustered by the proximity and 180 flip of the whole situation. But Younghyun didn't want to wake up so he chased Dowoon, cupping his face with his hands, and felt his heart speed up when Dowoon slid his hands up to Younghyun's neck and closed the gap. Younghyun only broke away when he felt Dowoon pushing a hand into his chest, scrunching up the fabric of the shirt. He opened his eyes to meet Dowoon's, and breathed out, "Fuck I've wanted to that for so long"

Dowoon snorted, flushing red, but Younghyun saw his eyes were still too shiny.

"Why are you crying?"

Dowoon laughed softly, sniffling.

"This is so fucking embarrassing, I'm really sorry, I don't know why I-.. I'm sorry. God what's wrong with me." He started to press his eyes again but Younghyun grabbed his wrists and pulled them away. "You don't have to hide." He smiled fondly when Dowoon's eyes started to fill. "Don't apologize." Then he decided to be smooth.

“Come here, baby.” The red around Dowoon's ears and neck brightened even more before Younghyun was pulling them down to sit, hugging Dowoon to his chest and petting that soft curly hair, all while trying to keep his heart rate down when Dowoon intertwined their fingers. Younghyun leaned down to press a kiss into his hair and just wanted to never move. It was like when a cat falls asleep on you and you just don’t move. You just don't.

“Were you singing about me?” Dowoon's voice was barely audible, but it was the only thing Younghyun could hear.

He chuckled and murmured back, "I’m always singing about you,” watching the tips of Dowoon's ears brighten, proud to be the reason.

“No I mean- I mean when you were in your room…”

Younghyun raised an eyebrow. “You heard that?” Dowoon nodded sheepishly. Younghyun laughed softly again. “Yea I was singing about you.”

“You were singing the same song when we came up here.”

“Yea, I was. Are you gonna ask if I was singing about you then too? You know I was.”

Dowoon smiled shyly. “Um actually,” he lifted his head up to lock eyes, “I was gonna ask if you could sing it for me now? And also will you go out with me?”

Younghyun smiled too, for real this time, feeling the sticks fall away from his metaphorical chest balloon as he pressed a kiss to the younger's forehead and reached for his guitar.

“Of course.”


End file.
